7 reasons why girls should not get involved with married men
A timely note to alert impulsive young girls who fall prey to the so-called love of married men.
By Jayakrishna Sahu
Before getting involved with married men, young, unmarried girls should be aware of and think over the following disastrous consequences of such affairs:
Young girls crave love and romance. For them, it is a biological necessity. Not so for the married man. He may be only hankering after sex. For him, sex outside marriage is not only physically satisfying but also an ego-booster. Each one’s need seems to be satisfied by the relationship, but actually the girl is cheated by the simulated love of the man.
The man uses her as a sex object and discards her at the slightest hint of opposition to the relationship.
He dumps her the moment the affair is exposed to his or the girl’s family. Unlike the girl, he is not emotionally involved. While for him the affair is over and done with, the girl goes through a prolonged phase of depression and trauma.
For the lovelorn girl, the man becomes the central object in her life. For the man, she is not so. His family, which includes his wife and children, comes first for him. He may repeat that she means everything to him, but this is all pretension. The credulous, gullible girl believes in his love and starts considering him to be her anchor.
While she is ready to give up her family for his sake, he is not willing to reciprocate similarly.
For the sake of your “beloved,” you lose your parents, family, their love, affection and good wishes. You also lose your reputation in society. You lose your marriage prospects. You may even lose your chastity and virginity.
In return, what do you get? The deceptive, pretentious love of a married man whose heart and soul are with his wife and children. You simply run after the mirage which you will never catch.
No sane person would consent to your decision to have an affair with a married man. Your parents and other family members are the last persons to do so. They advise against such a relationship, because they know that you will be the loser in such an affair. Rather, they will try their best to persuade you not to tread on such a thorny path. They can even go to the extent of warning you against it.
If you don’t obey them, they may disown you. You will be left alone to suffer the consequences of your decision.
In the heat of a moment, you may decide to shun everybody including your loving parents, for the sake of your “love.” Many young girls have done it. We know it from the media. These ignorant, girls try to enact the drama of “sacrifice” seen on the silver screen and they little realise that there is hell of a difference between reel life and real life.
You disown your family for the sake of your “Prince Charming”, but you will very soon be discarded by that very man without rhyme or reason. At that time, you’ll be emotionally shattered. And no one will be there to console you or help you.
There is always the probability that you’ll get pregnant, if you have a prolonged affair with a married man. The so-called love will turn physical. The chances of pregnancy are very high because even married women, often face accidental pregnancies.
You can confirm this from a married woman who has gone through it. However, she has her husband and relatives to share her troubles. Who will be there to share your agony? None — not even the man for whom you are prepared to die.
Unlike the West, Indian society does not take premarital affairs, sex or pregnancy lightly. Our conservative and puritanical society stigmatises a girl involved in such an affair. The stigma gets starker if the man is a married one. It can even affect your marriage prospect.
Arranged marriage is still the norm in our society, and the groom and his parents are very particular about the “character” of the bride. When they discover that the girl was involved with a married man, the chance of the proposal being withdrawn are very high. So, think a hundred times before committing yourself to an amorous affair with a married man. Enter this dark zone only at your own peril. Resist the temptation — and you’ll be saved from paying a heavy price.
COURTESY : WOMAN'S ERA