A Eulogy for Myself

Red Strawberry
Red Strawberry / 6 yrs ago /
  42



"Death is the occasion, but obituaries are about life," J.Y. Smith, the founder of The Washington Post's obit bureau


Kamalji's post My Obituary had me thinking what my obit would be like. 

I promised myself I wouldn't leave this to my family and have them post something like   SHE WAS A SHREW N A WITCH or something sucky like she was strong willed and awfully cheerful person awww put a sock in it will you. 

I wanna go like I lived, sippin' margaritas n laughing and puhleez no folks dressed in black to pay their last respects to me...if I could have it I would have music and good food and have folks dancing and rejoicing my life. 

I had once witnessed folks dancing and singing while carrying an old man away and my mom had explained it to me that in his death too they were celebrating his life. The funda has stuck on and yeah I believe I have had a funtastis, funnerific life. I am blessed to have found love and friends, virtually and in reality and that is a lot to ask for.

Just like love, death has eluded me for a long time, but I'm not complaining. I have had my moments and brief encounters of the D kind since I was only months old. This past year I lost more than a handful of loved ones, a reminder that I wasn't getting any younger myself.
 
Mrs. Cardoza, my home tutor, always had candy for me the day I had to go get health check ups and like she said the good souls always die early and I was a lil devil and per her I did not deserve to die that young in life. She was so true.

Once inside the sterile unit, I would turn into a comic relief for my mom. I could never stand her sad eyes and clowned around the entire ward. She was always tickled pink with my so called love letters to the ward boys and the doctors, well the reason might be coz I dedicated it from the nurses of the ward to the doc's and ward boys. 

I almost never read obits as I felt they were depressing; until I read The Dead Beat, Lost Souls, Lucky Stiffs, and the Perverse Pleasures of Obituaries
By Marilyn Johnson. She has sought out the best obits in the English language and chased the people who spent their lives writing about the dead. 

I also found the relationship obits site really amusing. Kathleen Horan, the WNYC reporter who founded the site, thinks of her service as a sort of wake for love. I on the other hand say it's more of a wake for failed love n relationship LOL. 

I don't own a lot n  my 3 most precious possesions I would distribute like this...my first possesion; my daughter, I would leave to my older sis, the second , my pooch to the younger sis and my hubby..well lets just say I have plans for him too.....I wouldn't want him to be alone and become a mean ole (happy n single) widower now would I 

Death is no big deal if you don't love life. But we get this lifetime opprtunity to  live only once. Then why not make the most of it while we are at it anyways. Its okay to be sad and down as these are a part of our life as well. To know happiness we have to experience sadness too. 

Folks are almost alwasy uncomfy when talking about death. They beat around the bush and avoid all associations with it.  I'll be sorry that I would miss my wake as wonderful things would be said about me as folks usually don't dish dirt at the dead.

AS ALWAYS MY HEADSTONE WOULD BE QUIRKY...IT would read something like this.....

 what r u lookin' at punk ?

 I am jus' a whacky ole mole that lives down a hole and I was not a figment of your imagination when I lived above the ground. I had no exceptional talent, I won no lotteries and often spent time playing sudoku or mah jhong on the net when I was not blogging. I had a lot of friends, whom I bribed to be at my wake, and I was awfully loved by my family, and no I did not have to bribe them to do that just assure them that I would leave all my wordly possesions to them .

So now if you are done staring, please look away, a girls gotta have her privacy every once in a while even while she is 5 feet under ! (you pervert). 


"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." ~ Johnny Carson.


Go figure that ! huh...ME, I WANT ATLEAST ONE EMAIL N PHONE CALL NO MATTER WHAT !!  



Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

tx simmu.


simmu / / 6 yrs ago
simmu

few years back i lost a family member in an accident.........knowing death so close made a great impact on me.........for almost an year funny thoughts visited me.
only if it was possible to read ur blog then...........i wud have not had those fears and smiled just as i did today.gud one.


Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

thanks anil, dunno if i deserve those words. i'm glad you njoyed it. like i always say..if i can get even one person to smile, my works done for that day..ofcourse this funda never helped me at my real job they would laugh and expect me to work..how rude ! 


anilnishant / / 6 yrs ago
anilnishant

hey red,

i read this the day you posted and then went out laughing hehehe and a smile comes on my lips whenever i think of you and your euology .i have told it in the past too you bery phunny and d best here ........just love reading your lovely writeups.

thanks & cheers,

anil


Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

anjana madame - kyon sharminda kar rahi ho aap hume. even if i could become a writer an inch closer to you then it would mean so much to me. i would pale anyday happily by comparison to you mademoiselle !  
 


anjana_jha / / 6 yrs ago
anjana_jha

that was quite an obit! and a darn good idea i think....
and hey, though my posts are not so much fun, missing your comments :-))


Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

tx mu


my utterances / / 6 yrs ago
my utterances

interesting!!!...just like you.


Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

hey sunita, thank you...how have you been ?? yup those lines are so surreal. thank you for sharing them.


Red Strawberry / / 6 yrs ago
Red Strawberry

thank you candid, i am glad you njoyed it. that was the point btw !

and no it wasn't the desire to be looked at...it was the desire to be not ogeled at !!! there is a macro diff between the 2 ya know. 


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