girija jinnaa
girija jinnaa / 6 yrs ago /

                                         INDIAN MOM AND AMERICAN SON



Vasumathi was aghast. She never expected that her 13 year old son’s room will be strewn with porn photos and books. And to top it when she checked his mobile which was loaded with all porn pictures which Vasumathi herself could not see. Of course Vasumathi knows that in the sixth grade itself a child is given proper sex education here. Initially she felt a bit nervous about this “early sex education” but her husband Raghavan consoled her. “Vasumathi see it in a positive way. It is good to have proper knowledge about sex and since in this country free sex is prevalent it is better our Son Vishal gets a proper knowledge of it. Definitely you and I cannot give him this information because we will be hugely embarrassed. So be calm”.  Vasumathi settled down for that moment.


But exactly for the past three months she could see a visible change in her son’s attitude. She could see that he is not the same child Vishal who used to talk to her about all the things that happened in his school and chat with her and ask her about her school life and college life in India. He was amused by the Indian marriage which they attended two years ago (it was Vasumathi’s cousin’s wedding) and started asking about her mom and dad’s marriage. Vasumathi could feel that her son was slowly drifting away from her. He was no more the innocent child that she adored.


As a child he was chirpy and buoyant. Generally girl children are supposed to talk more but Vishal in that sense was different. He used to talk continuously as Vasumathi would be cooking her night meal or dropping the clothes in the washing machine. Sometimes Vishal used to help her in vacuum cleaning the house by hopping on top of the stool in cleaning certain areas of the wall which Vasumathi could not reach. Vishal had taken after his father and could sing beautifully. He used to sing all the Tamil film songs and sometimes when he would struggle to get a Tamil word Vasumathi would just hug him in love and teach him that word. Till last year Vishal was a kid though he had grown tall for his age. In true American term he is really “big” and that was because he preferred junk food more than the typical south Indian Iyengar food that she prepares at home.


Raghavan and Vasumathi shifted to US exactly 13 years ago during that Y2K problem with H1B visa which allowed the entire family to shift to the US easily. Not only Raghavan his two brothers also shifted to US at that time. Since the entire family was in US neither Vasumathi nor Raghavan felt home sick because the brothers used to get together very frequently though they were residing in different parts of the US. When Vasumathi came to the US she was in Omaha and her elder brother in law was in New Jersey – though they could not meet very often the co sisters used to talk to each other quite frequently or almost daily for hours. When the last brother also moved in it was like more or less like living in India but with all the comforts that you cannot dream of in India.


Vasumathi and Raghavan hail from a very normal middle class Iyengar background and had a very normal typical Iyengar upbringing. Raghavan’s mother was an entrepreneur in the sense she used to sell sarees, diamond earrings and all that and the house used to have middle class “mamis” streaming in continuously from morning 10 to night 10 and Raghavan’s mother Padmasini mami was very popular in that Triplicane area which is actually an Iyengar hub. Padmasini mami was enjoying a roaring business and Vasumathi came to that house to buy a saree in installment through one of her neighbors and the first day she went to Padmasini mami’s house she was attracted more by Raghavan than the sarees mami showed. It was evident that Raghavan also was showing interest in her as he used give furtive glances as Vasumathi  would be pretending to see different sarees – a pretense to remain there for as long as possible. Without much difficulty they expressed their desire and at that time Vasumathi was in her final year B A. Already a nonchalant student this love affair added fuel to the fire and she just scraped through in a third class with minimum marks.


One year after College was real fun. Padmasini mami was too busy to shadow her son’s movements and neither was she interested in it.She used to say often “I have a son it is the problem of the daughter’s parents” and ultimately that is what happened. Raghavan even when he was in India preferred “anything that is American” except of course Beef and meat and chicken. So he changed the saree clad Vasumathi to Jeans pant Vasumathi with a small kurthi and though initially Vasumathi found it difficult to carry a Jeans pant slowly she got accustomed to it. Since both families belonged to the same caste there was no objection from the parental side. Raghavan used to take Vasumathi out every day (at that time he was with a government office but Raghavan’s dream was US so he never went to office but did learn computer languages in the evenings) and together they painted the town red. Some Week ends they used to go out in the mornings and return back late in the night. At this point the families met and decided the marriage date. And within two years of marriage with Vishal as a sixth month old baby Vasumathi moved to US with her husband Raghavan. Her second son Kushal was born in US and so far everything went on very well- American comforts and Indian living style.


Vasumathi is facing a problem for the first time. Raghavan’s job demanded touring and he used to be away for five working days and used to come home only on Fridays and spend the week end with family  “a grand south Indian Iyengar lunch” and evening eat outs with the children choosing “what to eat and where” but Vasumathi made sure that the kids were choosing only “vegetarian stuff”. Her first clash came with Vishal in a restaurant only. As usual on a Saturday week end Vishal chose a restaurant and Raghavan went to that one precisely. On reaching that place itself Vasumathi felt there was something wrong because she could not see even a single Indian face and above all the place had more number of Afro Americans and even they gave a bizarre look at this Indian family. That particular restaurant in St. Louis was very popular for beef and Vasumathi just jumped out of that place. Hailing from a family and tradition that worships cow she just cannot digest the fact that her son Vishal can digest cow in his stomach. Luckily Vishal did not create a big ruckus and silently followed to the restaurant this time chosen by his mom.


Vasumathi was struggling within her and she did not know how to react to what she had seen in Vishal’s room. Though it was a big house with a cellar and a big garden ( there is a competition among brothers who earns more who leads an American style of life and who has a huge house and in this race Raghavan leads and this has made Vasumathi proud in family gatherings) and decorated rooms for the kids Vishal and Kushal used to sleep in the same bedroom with their parents. Actually Vasumathi liked it and to make love after the children slept they go to the cellar where there is a special TV with child lock. Raghavan used to open the lock and the x rated films used to make him hot and Vasumathi responded just beautifully and they used to come back to the kids after a couple of hours. What she failed to understand was that Vishal knew that his parents were leaving the bedroom to make love and so one day he declared that he was going to sleep alone in his room. When Vasumathi tried to react Raghavan silenced her saying “this is a dangerous age. Don’t protest for every move of his then he will turn a rebel”. She was waiting for Thursday and there were two days more for Thursday to come. She did not want to encounter or assault Vishal with any embarrassing questions without his father and she had more confidence in Raghavan in handling the situation because he is level headed and calm and not emotional like Vasumathi.


At last the expected Thursday came. Raghavan entered the house and even in the foyer he planted a peck in the cheek of Vasumathi (this is usual every Thursday evening) and then hugged the children. Vasumathi was clad in a black backless halter and jeans with her hair cut short. Raghavan came near her and said “mmm…you are gorgeous lady…your back less halter especially the stunning black color that you had chosen just turns me on.. I don’t think I can wait for the next four hours how about a quickie?” .For the first time in her married life Vasumathi was squirming in her chair as Raghavan was hugging her from behind the sofa she was seated.


After dinner when Raghavan wanted the children to speak of their experiences that week Vasumathi serving the dessert ( of course a south India mysore pak) she looked straight at Vishal’s face whether he would come out with any “news”. But Vishal in typical American style shrugged his shoulders “nothing specific dad” he had the exact American accent and no listener would say that he is Parthasarathy Iyengar’s grandson. Only last year Vasumathi and Raghavan went to India and spent to the tune of 5 lakhs in Indian Rupees and held a grand “punul ceremony” (janevu in Hindi) and this auspicious event marks the boy from some one to a “real Brahmin”. Vasumathi did not much mind that Vishal did not do all those sandhya vandanams etc (because Raghavan himself did not do that!!) but watching and reading pornos are something that cannot be permitted.


When Vishal got up early from the gathering “sorry dad I can’t  spend long time with you because I am expecting a call from my friend” and was above to move when Vasumathi said in a rough voice “ Vishal sit down I want to speak to you” and Vishal was quite amused to see his mother agitated over nothing. “Yeah…mom tell me what do you want to speak about…I think I have nothing to share with you” and sat down on the sofa. Raghavan was stunned to see a livid Vasumathi. She looked at Raghavan and said “Raghav I think the time has come for us to speak to Vishal. We should inculcate in him out Culture and Values and he must follow our tradition” and her voice was stern and firm and was apparently dictatorial which amused both the kids.


Before Raghavan could answer Vasumathi burst out “You know Raghav just two days before I went to Vishal’s room and I was shocked to see… she was groping for words because she was embarrassed in the first place and as she was filled with emotions she could not choose the right word. She looked at Kushal and said “you go in” and at that point Vishal intervened and said “let him be here. One day he also has to go through this isn’t it? The earlier he faces it the better”.


Vasumathi gulped some water and said  “ Vishal’s  room was full of porn pictures and books and his cell phone has more than fifty hard core porn films which he watches every now and then” Vasumathi was gasping because she had become too emotional and agitated and could not speak coherently also. She told Raghavan “Please tell him or if necessary hit him and bring sense into his head. Tell him about our family traditions and he should know that we are not Americans to live like them but we are Iyengars and we have our own rich tradition to follow”.


There was an uneasy calm and actually Raghavan himself did not like the way Vasumathi broached the topic. Well … Raghavan knew that Vasumathi  is a woman with average intelligence and is fit to be a good Iyengar house wife and even her aggression in bed is something that Raghav taught and she follows it because she simply loves Raghavan. So Raghavan was not surprised by this onslaught and actually he knew this would crop up one day and actually this weekend he wanted to discuss this topic with Vasumathi as he already knew all that Vasumathi was “revealing” today. It is indecent to assault a young adult like this in a family gathering thought Raghavan and anyways the damage is done and now it is his duty to indulge in damage control exercise.


Before he could start Vishal went into the master bedroom and brought out a bunch of pictures on the table. Actually they were personal pictures which Raghav had shot Vasumathi when they had first come to US and they were all digital pictures which could be seen in their laptops. Vasumathi had actually bared and dared in those pictures Vasumathi in a towel in the bathroom flaunting her long lovely legs, and in another Vasumathi and Raghavan in the bathtub locking their lips this must have shot with Raghavan timing the camera. Vasumathi was stunned by these pictures and wondered how he had access to these pictures.


Vishal looked at her straight and asked “mom. When you can intrude into my privacy and ransack my room as though I am a criminal why should I not do it? I have seen these snaps when I was young and I remembered them and took them out of your wardrobe. Now answer to my questions- I have seen the house where Padma Patti lives and also your first “so called bedroom” which appeared like a dungeon. And that’s where you started your sex life and conceived me and if you had continued in that house by now your sex life would have come to an end. Your sex life with the same partner becomes interesting only if you are innovative and that would not have been possible if you had been in India. Dad don’t you agree with this. Here I know how active your sex life is and I know you go to the cellar every Friday and Saturday after we sleep. Mom... again it is your mistake because you wanted the two of us to sleep in your bedroom to exercise control on us. The effect of this is I could hear you talk about your experience and inadvertently you had given some sexy tips and now you are chiding me for seeing porn pictures. The dress you are wearing today a backless halter specially to welcome dad is very sexy and do you think you can wear this if you had been in that house as a traditional Iyengar daughter in law. What do you think we are? A pack of fools isn’t it? When you can enjoy sex with full freedom in US who are you to do this kind of moral policing on us? It is after all my sex life and I hate this being discussed in a family dinner table. I think we will just stop at this point. And you need not worry about my safety because I use the same condom dad uses and so good night and mom and dad have a great night and as you rightly said mom is looking gorgeous today” and left the dining table with a smile on his face.


Vasumathi knew she had lost one son and now looked at the younger one and wondered when she would lose him may be another 3 or 4 years. She looked at Raghavan misty eyed and he could understand Vasumathi’s feelings. She looked at him and tears dropped from her eyes and muttered “Raghav I am ashamed….see how he talked about me” Raghav said “Vasu don’t take it seriously he has just given vent to his anger. Actually tonight I wanted to discuss with you this particular matter but you broached it abruptly. Anyways it’s good that we have thrashed it out. Remember Vasumathi you can never have the cake and eat it too. As Vishal rightly said when we enjoy so much because of the American society why should we deny the same to our son? Marital commitment is for Indians. Americans do have marital commitments but remember they never mix marriage and sex. Please understand that and remember you might celebrate his poonul but not his marriage. He is an American he will inform you about his marriage and may invite you and even if he doesn’t just take it lightly” and wiped her tears.

mehulkamdar / / 6 yrs ago

free sex in the usa? i must be living on mars . . . the walls of some indian temples have vastly more provocative images than television fare over here. in the past, they also had devadasis to boot. oh yes, i also remember the remixed music videos on mtv and v india. a bet rap video looks almost puritan in comparison. but then, facts are never convenient when prejudice is preferred instead.

supriyad / / 6 yrs ago

weird. i have a hard time believing tht america or its customs are as monstrous as its made out in this story.

Ranjini Sharma / / 6 yrs ago
Ranjini Sharma

hi girija,

very interesting background you have there!

i am an engineer and now an instructional web/content designer/ engg technical writer. you are welcome to my blogs anytime at -

nikita1983 / / 6 yrs ago

very nice story,and a nice way of conveying the message ...........was very shocked while reading your made me to think on these issues

girija jinnaa / / 6 yrs ago
girija jinnaa

thank you ranjini. considering the number of response i am getting for this story i decided to post my second story a little later. and i was working for tutorvista as a testprep tutor tutoring high profile exams like sat toefl and ielts. but from this month i am not because i am planning to do other things and the one in pipeline is a documentary on the plight of muslim women in south india.

may i know a little about you please

girija jinnaa

swapnashree / / 6 yrs ago

good narration, story conveyed a good msg, that culture of the society were one is brought up as well the life of their parents play a significant role in moulding the life of young generation.

Ranjini Sharma / / 6 yrs ago
Ranjini Sharma

very interesting!! my last job was in a college to create the software and the tools to facilitate online tutoring! i worked on a cyber tutoring project to create websites that enable distance education. what company are you working for? you could send me a note if you wish.


Divya V / / 6 yrs ago
Divya V

loved ur story!! arent we proud of our "kamasutra" ? somehow there is total mix (read confusion!) of tradition and culture and now religion nowadays..

girija jinnaa / / 6 yrs ago
girija jinnaa

dear rs

i am an online english tutor to us - does this clarify american testprep??!1


Jayati Gupta / / 6 yrs ago
Jayati Gupta

well, this is not comfortable way to look at things, american way is porno and sex without an iota of respect for parents -
indian ways mix marriage and sex - that is perfect ...

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