What a Choice Baba

kamalji
kamalji / 1 year ago /
  27

What a Choice,Baba !!!

 

Today’s Times of India had some interesting articles one of them being this one

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chandigarh/Mahant-buys-a-Registration-No-for-Rs-10-5-lakh/articleshow/18584681.cms

 

Mahant Chottunath buys a registration no of his choice for 10 lakhs. And that too for an Audi worth 60 lakhs. Wow ! Now do u guys believe me when I say, that money these days, belongs to politicians, criminals, and Babas and Sadhus . I hope now u all will believe me, how much money is there in being a baba.

 

A cousin of mine likes the muslim digits of 786 somewhere in the number plate, and he also collects notes which have these numbers. Of what use they are, I don’t know. People are so superstitious really, whereas I am just the opposite.

 

They say, don’t buy during the month of Shradh, which I guess lasts for a good 15 days, during which u feed the pundits, so that the food  he eats goes from his stomach to yr ancestor’s stomach ! Yech, how repulsive really.  I wonder, if the departed ancestor was a diabetic, then rice potatoes and sweets are banned, but the pandit will want to eat these delecasies, which , if the food goes to the ancestor, will trouble the departed soul no end eh !

 

My friend’s father used to be very fond of going to movies first day first show, that is Friday 12 noon show, and a seat was booked in all the theatres , he was quite influential then. When he died, his son called a pandit, and gave the pandit, a quarter of rum, a packet of bidis, a plate of meat, and two tickets of a movie show so the pandit could take his wife to the movie. The pandit ran away from there, never to come back again. Those were the things the dead man liked .

 

Most of the cars I have bought, I never have bothered about the day being good or bad. The day I have money in  my pocket, is an auspicious day, and vice versa. Once I went during the shrads to buy a car, and u should have seen the salesmen  surround me, for they had no customers  to attend, and I got a very good discount and freebies. And they then try and scam me, that sir we have special car numbers, for as little as 5000 we can get u this or that number. I just tell them, do u have a list of unlucky numbers, I will take it, and u give me 5000 less from the price, and they look at me as though I said something abusive . I am price conscious , that is all, no nonsense for me.

 

People think that Wednesday is a good day to buy, and Saturday is a unlucky day to buy. Could it not be that the car u buy on Wednesday may have been sold by the company to the dealer on a Saturday ? So what is auspicious for u, may not be so actually.

 

I have never taken my car to Ganesh mandir, I just buy and use it. The latest one we bought last year, Maruti Ritz, my brother took to mandir, I told him u go, if u wish, but I am not coming, I don’t believe.

 

Well in the next week, the car met with 2 accidents, whereas the other cars which I have not taken to mandirs, have been accident free for years. The cars that meet with accidents on highways, where families are killed, were those cars not taken to ganesh mandir when they were bought ? So did God fail here to protect his disciples ? I am not a learned person, so I find the answers difficult to guess.

 

And what about the pandit who will eat my shrad, I am sure I will be one unhappy soul. For the pandit to make me happy, should be taken to the park and made to look at the pretty babes there, eat nonveg, have a glass of whiskey, a smoke, and read a blog of mine or of a friend of mine, only then my sould will be happy up there, but I am sure this fellow will run away. So u see I will be assured of hell, for if a pandit does not eat my shradd, I will forever be in twilight, neither here nor there eh !

 

HAHA.

 

So be it.

 

KAMAL MAHTANI

 

Closing the case of divorce of Santa, the judge said

“I have reviewed this case carefully, and I have decided to give ur wife a monthly alimony of Rs. 20,000/-

Santa – that is very kind of u, judge sahib, every now and then, I too will send her some money !!!!!

 

 

 

Abraham Lincoln – I may walk slowly,but I never walk backward.

Santa Singh says – I don’t need to walk, for I have a scooter !!!!!

 

 

A drunk went to donate his eyes.

The officer asked him if he wanted to leave a message.

The drunk says – Tell the person who wants my eyes, that these  eyes open only after two drinks have gone down !!!!!!

 

 

 

This body has some 1,39,000 nerves.

Only the wife knows how to tread her toes on all of them at the same time !!!!!

 

 

 

 

 


Mishtii / / 1 year ago
Mishtii

kamal sir ji wat abt kaali billi??do u beelieveeeeee it brings bad omen jaisa if it crossess de way??:) i don think u doooo..mujhe nahi lagta aap yeh sab viswas karte ho??BUT kamal sirrrrr superstitious behaviourssssssss mei kuch toh sachai hoti hogi??y else it got sprung frm beats meeeeeee..lyke it or not kabhie kabhie dere is no harm n lettin mind takeova silly notionssss:)..i toh believe n certain thingssssssssss..bt i pray and all gets taken care off:)..god is dere toh darna kyaaaaa..
Takecare kamal sirrrrrr of ur health..as alwyzzzzzzz de jokes were fun 2 read..
Mishti.


poetbittersweet / / 1 year ago
poetbittersweet

"should be taken to the park and made to look at the pretty babes there, eat nonveg, have a glass of whiskey, a smoke, and read a blog of mine or of a friend of mine, only then my soul will be happy up there"
Kamaaal baba ki jai:)))))))))) I like the advice.


Ravi / / 1 year ago
Ravi

Kamalji,

There will be a rush of pundits to your house at your Shradh. Who will not want to see babes and drink good drinks? But these are not prescribed in any ancestral texts. These are some beliefs carried down the generation without any assessment.

ravi


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Ashu,

Failure is necessary in life, to show u, who are ur frioends in the difficult times, and who are not.And to correct and mend yr ways, so that u dont get into woprse times, at least i have learned my mistakes, and try and avoid them these days.

Well i have learnt it the hard way, that it does not pay to go to babas, that it pays to trust the lord , whichever one u beleive in, and trust in yrself, and take the blessings of yr parents and elders , that is all that is required, and failures are just a small part of life.

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Vijaybhai,

Even i could not beleive my eyes when i read it, i have seen the babas do wierd things , but this is too much really.

Well if u guys bestow the title of baba on me, remember then u have to take care of me, and send me some money to sustain myself, thru dawa/daru, u see.

HAHA

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Suchi,

if i am making u guys wiser, where is my dakshina, at least 100 bucks a month from eahc of u eh !

HAHA

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Not,

Welcome. yep i agree we should be babas really that is where is the money and the babes.

HAHA

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Arunbhai,

HAHA. jai ho doctor sahib, aapke patient jiye, aour beemar hoke aapke paas aye, sir.

HAHA

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear AMC,

Always to see u , long time no see, i hope all is well with u.if ther wre more like me, i swear the babas would take out supari for us to kill us, for we are killing their business.HAHA

i mean if this chap was my guru, and this news came in the papers to my notice, i would drop jim like a hot potatoe, but do people learn ? look at nityananada, going as strong as ever.

So people deserve them, and they provide good material to me for my blogs what say, AMC

HAHA

Keep well, and keep coming, for u always have kind words for me.

Regards

kamal


kamalji / / 1 year ago
kamalji

Dear Unni,

Babas fleece or not , the followers are stupid really. When u see a baba, suppose he is your guru, u must leave him at once if such a thing came in the papers. Gandu and pandu eh ! HAHA

True veyr true.

Regards

kamal


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